Author: Capt Bill

🚨 REMINDER – FIREWORKS STRICTLY PROHIBITED IN EMWV 🚨

Issued by: EMWV HOA Security & Patriotic Compliance Division
Date: June 26, 2025
Classification: MANDATORY COMPLIANCE

Residents are hereby reminded that the use, possession, or storage of ANY fireworks is strictly prohibited from Independence Day through July 7th. This includes but is not limited to:

• Sparklers and Roman candles
• Fountain-style ground displays
• Confetti poppers
• Any item sold at a roadside tent staffed by teenagers with Mountain Dew and felony charges

⚠️ ENFORCEMENT MEASURES

Violators will face:

• Fine: $500 per item
• Penalty: Suspension of gate sticker
• Mandatory: Attendance at “Fire-Free Freedom” re-education session in clubhouse basement

🎆 FIRST ANNUAL FREEDOM IGNITION CEREMONY

Date: July 4th, 2025
Time: 9:00 PM
Location: HOA Dog Park
Sponsored by: EMWV HOA and Defense Contractors

Join us for our official fireworks display! This professionally managed event ensures safe celebration of our nation’s independence.

Remember: Freedom isn’t free—and we make sure of it.

Report violations to:

📊 Weekly Security Report

Week of: October 16-22, 2025
Report Prepared By: Chief Bob Henderson
Status: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

🎯 Major Operations Completed

Operation: Lemonade Stand Sweep

Our Third Responders™ conducted a comprehensive sweep of unlicensed lemonade operations throughout the community. Results were outstanding:

• Citations Issued: 12
• Operations Shut Down: 8
• Permits Processed: 3
• Community Education Sessions: 2

Operation: Sidewalk Chalk Enforcement

Continued vigilance on sidewalk chalk violations has paid dividends:

• Violations Documented: 15
• Cleanup Operations: 12
• Community Service Hours: 24

🏆 Notable Achievements

Officer of the Week: Margaret Thompson
For her outstanding work in the lemonade stand investigation that led to the discovery of an unlicensed operation run by a 7-year-old named Timmy. The case is still under review.

Most Creative Citation: Frank Rodriguez
Issued a citation for “Excessive Wind Chime Activity” to resident at

📈 Statistics

• Total Patrol Hours: 168
• Miles Driven: 847 (EZ-Go Lancer 500 Series)
• Citations Issued: 31
• Emergency Responses: 3
• Community Complaints: 0 (Perfect record!)

🔮 Next Week Priorities

1. Monitor garage door compliance
2. Investigate suspicious cargo shorts activity
3. Conduct HOA bylaw education seminar
4. Prepare for Halloween security protocols

Remember: The Third Responders™ are always watching, always ready, always vigilant.

For emergencies, call:

🚨 URGENT SECURITY ALERT 🚨

Date: October 23, 2025
Alert Level: CRITICAL
Incident Type: Garage Door Security Breach

Our Third Responders™ have detected a significant increase in garage door violations across the East Mountain West View community. In the past

Incident Summary:

• Garage door open for 47 minutes (Bob Henderson residence – under investigation)
• Garage door open for 23 minutes (Margaret Thompson residence – citation issued)
• Garage door open for 1 hour 12 minutes (Frank Rodriguez residence – emergency response activated)

Security Recommendations:

All residents are advised to:

1. Install automatic garage door timers
2. Conduct daily security checks
3. Report suspicious garage door activity immediately
4. Consider upgrading to smart garage door systems

Remember: A secure community starts with secure garage doors. The Third Responders™ are watching.

Report violations to:

🚗 URGENT NOTICE: Out-of-State License Plates – Suspicious Vehicle Protocol 🚗

Issued by: EMWV HOA Vehicle Security Division
Date: September 25, 2025
Classification: CRITICAL VEHICLE VIOLATION

The HOA Board has identified a serious security threat: out-of-state license plates. These suspicious vehicles pose significant risks to community safety and property values.

🚨 SUSPICIOUS VEHICLE PROTOCOL

Out-of-State Plates: All vehicles with non-local plates are suspicious
Enforcement: Immediate questioning and vehicle inspection
Documentation: All out-of-state vehicles must be registered with HOA

📋 VEHICLE REGISTRATION REQUIREMENTS

All out-of-state vehicles must be registered:

• Registration Fee: $500 annual fee
• Security Deposit: $2,000 refundable deposit
• Background Check: All drivers must pass security clearance
• Insurance: $10,000,000 liability coverage required
• Vehicle Inspection: HOA-approved mechanic inspection
• Driver Training: “Community Driving Standards” course ($150)
• Community Integration: 30-day probationary period

🔍 ENFORCEMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Security will actively patrol for violations:

• License Plate Monitoring: Officers checking all vehicle plates
• Vehicle Inspections: Random checks of out-of-state vehicles
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip line for vehicle violations
• Video Surveillance: Security cameras monitoring all vehicles
• Citizen Arrests: Residents authorized to detain violators

💰 FINE STRUCTURE

Vehicle violations carry significant penalties:

• Unregistered Vehicle: $1,000 fine + vehicle impoundment
• Expired Registration: $500 fine + mandatory registration
• Suspicious Activity: $2,000 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Chronic Violators: $5,000 fine + possible eviction
• Minors: Parents responsible for all fines and penalties

🏛️ APPROVED VEHICLES ONLY

Currently approved vehicle types:

• Local Plates: State-registered vehicles only
• HOA Official Vehicles: Security carts and patrol vehicles
• Guest Vehicles: Pre-approved visitor vehicles only
• Special Permits: $1,000 per day for temporary vehicles

📚 MANDATORY EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Vehicle Security Compliance” training:

• Workshop: “Understanding Vehicle Security Regulations”
• Duration: 4 hours
• Cost: $100 per household
• Certification: Required for all family members

🚗 APPROVED VEHICLE SUPPLIERS

Only HOA-approved vehicles may be used:

• Brands: “Community Safe” vehicles only
• Colors: White, silver, navy, gray
• Styles: Conservative, professional, community-appropriate
• Purchase: Available at HOA office for $25,000 per vehicle

Vehicle
Report Violations:

#OutOfStatePlates #VehicleSecurity #HOACompliance

🐱 EMERGENCY NOTICE: Emotional Support Animal Violations – Zero Tolerance Policy 🐱

Issued by: EMWV HOA Animal Compliance Division
Date: September 28, 2025
Classification: CRITICAL ANIMAL VIOLATION

The HOA Board has identified a serious threat to community order: unauthorized emotional support animals. These illegal animals pose significant risks to public health, safety, and property values.

🚫 EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL BAN

All emotional support animals are prohibited without proper licensing
Animal Restrictions: No cats, dogs, or other animals without HOA approval
Documentation Requirements: Medical certification from approved veterinarians only
Behavior Standards: All animals must pass HOA behavior assessment

📋 LICENSING REQUIREMENTS

To own a legal emotional support animal, residents must:

• Animal License: $1,000 annual fee
• Health Permit: $
• Insurance: $5,000,000 liability coverage required
• Background Check: All owners must pass security clearance
• Training Certification: “Safe Animal Handling” course ($300)
• Behavior Assessment: HOA-approved animal behaviorist evaluation
• Community Integration: 90-day probationary period

🔍 ENFORCEMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Security will actively patrol for violations:

• Animal Patrols: Officers checking for unauthorized animals
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip line for animal violations
• Video Surveillance: Security cameras monitoring for animals
• Citizen Arrests: Residents authorized to detain violators
• Animal Confiscation: Immediate removal of unauthorized animals

💰 PENALTY STRUCTURE

Animal violations carry severe consequences:

• First Offense: $2,000 fine + immediate animal removal
• Second Offense: $5,000 fine + equipment confiscation
• Third Offense: $10,000 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Chronic Violators: Property lien + possible eviction
• Minors: Parents responsible for all fines and penalties

🏛️ LICENSED ANIMALS ONLY

Currently approved emotional support animals:

• HOA Official Animals: Security dogs only
• Community Events: Pre-approved therapy animals only
• Special Permits: $5,000 per event for temporary animals

📚 MANDATORY EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Animal Law Compliance” training:

• Workshop: “Understanding Animal Regulations”
• Duration: 8 hours
• Cost: $200 per household
• Certification: Required for all family members

Animal Compliance
Report Violations:

#AnimalLaw #EmotionalSupportBan #HOACompliance

👖 CRITICAL ALERT: Cargo Shorts in Winter – Suspicious Activity Protocol 👖

Issued by: EMWV HOA Fashion Compliance Division
Date: October 1, 2025
Priority: IMMEDIATE ENFORCEMENT

The HOA Board has identified a serious fashion violation: cargo shorts worn during winter months. This suspicious activity threatens community safety and aesthetic standards.

🚨 SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY PROTOCOL

Winter Period: November 1 – March 31
Violation Threshold: Any person wearing cargo shorts below 60°F
Enforcement: Immediate questioning and citation

👔 APPROVED WINTER ATTIRE

Residents must wear appropriate winter clothing:

• ✅ Long pants (jeans, khakis, dress pants)
• ✅ Sweaters and jackets
• ✅ Closed-toe shoes
• ✅ Seasonal accessories (scarves, gloves)
• ❌ Cargo shorts (any temperature below 60°F)
• ❌ Shorts of any kind below 60°F
• ❌ Sandals or flip-flops in winter

🔍 ENFORCEMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Security will actively monitor for violations:

• Temperature Monitoring: Real-time weather tracking
• Fashion Patrols: Officers checking attire compliance
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip line for fashion violations
• Photo Documentation: Evidence collection for violations
• Citizen Arrests: Residents authorized to detain violators

💰 FINE STRUCTURE

Fashion violations carry significant penalties:

• 50-59°F: $100 fine + fashion consultation
• 40-49°F: $250 fine + mandatory clothing change
• Below 40°F: $500 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Repeat Offenders: $1,000 fine + temporary clothing ban
• Chronic Violators: Property lien + possible eviction

🎓 MANDATORY FASHION EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Seasonal Attire Compliance” training:

• Workshop: “Understanding Weather-Appropriate Clothing”
• Duration: 3 hours
• Cost: $75 per household
• Certification: Required for all family members

📋 APPROVED CLOTHING SUPPLIERS

Only HOA-approved clothing may be worn:

• Brands: “Community Appropriate” clothing only
• Colors: Navy, khaki, white, gray
• Styles: Conservative, professional, weather-appropriate
• Purchase: Available at HOA office for $50 per outfit

Fashion Compliance
Report Violations:

#CargoShortsBan #WinterFashion #HOACompliance

🚁 URGENT NOTICE: Unlicensed Drone Operations – Pool Net Enforcement Required 🚁

Issued by: EMWV HOA Airspace Security Division
Date: October 3, 2025
Classification: CRITICAL AIRSPACE VIOLATION

The HOA Board has identified a serious threat to community airspace: unlicensed drone operations. These unauthorized aircraft pose significant risks to privacy, safety, and property values.

🚫 DRONE OPERATION BAN

All drone flights are prohibited without proper licensing
Airspace Restrictions: No flights below 500 feet within community boundaries
Privacy Zones: No drones within 200 feet of any residence
Time Restrictions: No flights before 9:00 AM or after 6:00 PM

📋 LICENSING REQUIREMENTS

To operate a legal drone, residents must:

• Pilot License: $750 annual fee
• Airspace Permit: $
• Insurance: $2,000,000 liability coverage required
• Background Check: All operators must pass security clearance
• Training Certification: “Safe Drone Operations” course ($200)
• Equipment Inspection: All drones must meet HOA standards
• Flight Plan Submission: 48-hour advance notice required

🎯 ENFORCEMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Security will actively patrol for violations:

• Pool Net Operations: Officers equipped with pool nets for drone capture
• Airspace Monitoring: Radar systems tracking unauthorized flights
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip line for drone violations
• Video Surveillance: Security cameras monitoring airspace
• Citizen Arrests: Residents authorized to detain violators

💰 PENALTY STRUCTURE

Drone violations carry severe consequences:

• First Offense: $1,000 fine + immediate drone confiscation
• Second Offense: $2,500 fine + equipment destruction
• Third Offense: $5,000 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Chronic Violators: Property lien + possible eviction
• Minors: Parents responsible for all fines and penalties

🏛️ LICENSED OPERATORS ONLY

Currently approved drone operations:

• HOA Official Drones: Security surveillance only
• Community Events: Pre-approved photography only
• Special Permits: $2,000 per event for temporary operations

📚 MANDATORY EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Drone Law Compliance” training:

• Workshop: “Understanding Airspace Regulations”
• Duration: 6 hours
• Cost: $150 per household
• Certification: Required for all family members

Airspace
Report Violations:

#DroneLaw #AirspaceSecurity #PoolNetEnforcement

🎨 CRITICAL VIOLATION: Sidewalk Chalk Exceeding 12 Square Feet – Immediate Action Required 🎨

Issued by: EMWV HOA Aesthetic Compliance Division
Date: October 5, 2025
Priority: IMMEDIATE ENFORCEMENT

The HOA Board has identified a serious aesthetic violation: sidewalk chalk art exceeding the approved 12 square foot limit. This threatens community property values and visual harmony.

📏 STRICT SIZE LIMITS

Maximum Area: 12 square feet per artwork
Color Restrictions: Maximum 3 colors per piece
Content Guidelines: No political messages, no commercial advertising
Location Requirements: Must be on private property only

🎯 APPROVED CHALK ART SUBJECTS

Only the following subjects are permitted:

• ✅ Flowers and nature scenes
• ✅ Happy faces and positive messages
• ✅ Patriotic themes (American flag, eagles)
• ✅ HOA-approved community events
• ❌ No abstract art or modern designs
• ❌ No cartoon characters or pop culture
• ❌ No personal names or addresses

📊 MEASUREMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Compliance Officers will measure all chalk art:

• Measuring Tools: Official HOA measuring tapes only
• Documentation: Photos and measurements recorded
• Violation Alerts: Automatic citations for oversized art
• Cleanup Orders: Immediate removal required for violations

💰 FINE STRUCTURE

Chalk art violations carry significant penalties:

• 13-15 square feet: $75 fine + mandatory cleanup
• 16-20 square feet: $150 fine + community service
• 21-30 square feet: $300 fine + art education class
• Over 30 square feet: $500 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Repeat Offenders: $1,000 fine + temporary chalk ban

🧹 MANDATORY CLEANUP

Violators must immediately:

• Remove Excess: Reduce artwork to 12 square feet or less
• Clean Sidewalk: Remove all chalk residue
• Documentation: Submit photos of cleaned area
• Compliance Check: HOA officer will verify cleanup

🎓 CHALK ART EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Proper Chalk Art Techniques” training:

• Workshop: “Creating Compliant Chalk Art”
• Duration: 2 hours
• Cost: $50 per household
• Certification: Required for all chalk art creators

📋 APPROVED CHALK SUPPLIES

Only HOA-approved chalk may be used:

• Brand: “Community Safe” chalk only
• Colors: Red, white, blue, yellow, green
• Size: Standard 3-inch diameter sticks
• Purchase: Available at HOA office for $5 per box

Aesthetic Compliance
Report Violations:

#ChalkArtCompliance #CommunityAesthetics #HOACompliance

🍋 EMERGENCY NOTICE: Unlicensed Lemonade Operations – Zero Tolerance Policy 🍋

Issued by: EMWV HOA Business Compliance Division
Date: October 8, 2025
Classification: CRITICAL ENFORCEMENT

The HOA Board has identified a serious threat to community order: unlicensed lemonade operations. These illegal businesses pose significant risks to public health, safety, and property values.

🚫 ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY

All lemonade sales are prohibited without proper licensing
Age Restrictions: No person under
Location Restrictions: No sales within 500 feet of any residence
Time Restrictions: No sales before 9:00 AM or after 5:00 PM

📋 LICENSING REQUIREMENTS

To operate a legal lemonade stand, residents must:

• Business License: $500 annual fee
• Health Permit: $
• Insurance: $1,000,000 liability coverage required
• Background Check: All operators must pass security clearance
• Training Certification: “Safe Lemonade Handling” course ($150)
• Equipment Inspection: All stands must meet HOA standards

🔍 ENFORCEMENT PROTOCOL

HOA Security will actively patrol for violations:

• Daily Patrols: Random inspections of all properties
• Undercover Operations: Plainclothes officers monitoring for illegal sales
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip line for violations
• Video Surveillance: Security cameras monitoring common areas
• Citizen Arrests: Residents authorized to detain violators

💰 PENALTY STRUCTURE

Violators face severe consequences:

• First Offense: $500 fine + immediate shutdown
• Second Offense: $1,000 fine + equipment confiscation
• Third Offense: $2,500 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Chronic Violators: Property lien + possible eviction
• Minors: Parents responsible for all fines and penalties

🏛️ LICENSED OPERATORS ONLY

Currently approved lemonade operations:

• HOA Official Stand: Clubhouse parking lot (Saturdays only)
• Community Events: Pre-approved charity sales only
• Special Permits: $1,000 per event for temporary operations

📚 MANDATORY EDUCATION

All residents must complete “Lemonade Law Compliance” training:

• Workshop: “Understanding Business Regulations”
• Duration: 4 hours
• Cost: $100 per household
• Certification: Required for all family members

Business Compliance
Report Violations:

#LemonadeLaw #BusinessCompliance #CommunityOrder

🚪 CRITICAL ALERT: Garage Door Open Time Limits – 30-Minute Maximum 🚪

Issued by: EMWV HOA Security & Safety Division
Date: October 10, 2025
Priority: URGENT COMPLIANCE REQUIRED

The HOA Board has identified a critical security vulnerability: garage doors left open for extended periods. This poses a serious threat to community safety and property values.

⏱️ MANDATORY TIME LIMITS

Maximum Open Time: 30 minutes per day
Monitoring: Continuous surveillance by HOA Security
Violation Threshold: Any door open longer than 30 minutes

📹 SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM

The HOA has implemented advanced monitoring:

• Motion Sensors: Detect when garage doors are opened
• Timer Tracking: Automatic violation alerts after 30 minutes
• Photo Documentation: Evidence collection for violations
• Neighbor Reporting: Anonymous tip system for open doors

🚨 VIOLATION RESPONSE PROTOCOL

When a garage door exceeds 30 minutes:

1. Alert Sent: Automatic notification to homeowner
2. Security Dispatch: Third Responder™ dispatched to scene
3. Door Closure: HOA Security will close door if no response
4. Citation Issued: Automatic fine and violation notice
5. Follow-up Inspection: Additional monitoring for 48 hours

💰 FINE STRUCTURE

Garage door violations carry significant penalties:

• 31-60 minutes: $100 fine + written warning
• 61-120 minutes: $250 fine + security consultation
• Over 2 hours: $500 fine + mandatory security audit
• Repeat Offenders: $1000 fine + HOA Compliance Court
• Chronic Violators: Possible property lien

🛡️ SECURITY MEASURES

Residents must implement approved security protocols:

• Timer Systems: Automatic door closure after 25 minutes
• Motion Alerts: Smartphone notifications for door status
• Security Cameras: Required monitoring of garage area
• Emergency Contacts: Designated person to close door remotely

📋 MANDATORY COMPLIANCE TRAINING

All residents must complete “Garage Door Security Protocol” certification:

• Workshop: “Protecting Your Property and Community”
• Duration: 3 hours
• Cost: $75 per household
• Certification: Required for all property owners

Report Violations:

#GarageDoorSecurity #CommunitySafety #HOACompliance

📞 CONTACT INFORMATION

MANDATORY PROTOCOL: All contact with the Security Team must be conducted in person at the Security Booth during approved hours.

• Location: Main Security Booth (entrance to EMWV community)
• Approved Hours: Monday-Friday, 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM
• Requirements: Government-issued photo ID required for all security booth visits
• No Exceptions: Phone calls, emails, and other remote contact methods are not permitted

⚠️ IMPORTANT: All permit applications, compliance questions, and security inquiries must be submitted in person at the Security Booth. The Third Responders™ are not available for remote communication.